Testimonies

Marika's testimonie

Laatst aangepast op vrijdag, 09 oktober 2009 20:15 dinsdag, 06 oktober 2009 16:16

"Wat ik in Juni zag"

Hallo iedereen,

Ik weet dat sommige van jullie het niet leuk zullen vinden wat ik te zeggen heb, maar ik moet mijn ervaringen vertellen zodat iedereen het kan begrijpen.
Sommige van jullie zullen gehoord hebben van een email die ik gestuurd heb op 21 Juni. Deze email is, zonder mijn toestemming, op forums geplaatst en velen hebben me ervoor veroordeeld, zeiden dat ik een leugenaar was, op zoek naar bekendheid en meer….

Dit is de rede waarom ik de email gestuurd heb:

Samen met twee vrienden ontmoette ik MJ in zijn auto op 19 maart.

We hebben het gehad over AEG, hoe boos hij was op ze, dat ze alleen maar op geld uitwaren, tickets verkochten via Viagogo. He zei “Ik haat het om zulke verhalen te horen!”.

Mijn vriendin en ik zagen een zeer fysiek zwakke Michael. Hij had een wijde oranje broek aan, maar omdat hij achterin zat en wij voorin, had hij zijn benen tussen die van ons. We konden zien hoe zijn benen er echt uitzagen.

Hij was zo dun.

Michael bleef zich maar verontschuldigen over hoe hij eruit zag: “Het spijt me dat jullie me zo moeten zien, Het spijt me!” Terwijl hij dit zei verborg hij zijn gezicht in zijn handen.

We waren wat bezorgd maar dachten: Ok, hij heeft nog drie maanden tot de concerten in Londen, dus hij zal waarschijnlijk wel met iemand werken....

Drie maanden later zijn mijn vriendin en ik terug gegaan naar Carolwood en zagen we Michael onder invloed. Het vreemde was dat dit NA de repetities was en niet na een bezoek aan Dr. Klein. Wat ze hem dus ook gaven, het was hem gegeven (of hij nam het zelf) tijdens de repetities.

Die nacht had Michael geheugenverlies. Hij was volledig high, alsof hij aan het praten was in zijn slaap.

Als wij dit konden zien dan maak je mij niet wijs dat mensen die 10 uur per dag bij hem waren, dit niet konden zien.

Een aantal dagen later nodigde Michael mijn vriendin en mij uit op de set van het Dome project. Mijn vriendin had een jasje voor hem gemaakt.
Hij had een rood Balamin jasje aan, je kan het zien in de trailer.
Mijn vriendin gaf hem het jasje en Michael nam het aan om het aan te proberen.
Hij deed zijn eigen jasje uit.
Hij droeg een strakke witte broek en een strak wit t-shirt.
Voor het eerst realiseerde we ons hoeveel hij was afgevallen.
Ik had zijn jasje niet aangekund.
Hij was heel erg mager. En NIET DUN.
Het jasje was natuurlijk te groot voor hem.
Maar hij was er blij mee en zei: Oh hoe wisten jullie mijn maat?!
Nou ja.... neem een dames maat en het past.
Hij hield het. Er is een foto waar hij het op aan heeft op 11 Juni.
Natuurlijk kan je dit niet zo goed zien op de foto.. Maar hij kon dit jasje letterlijk achter zijn rug om dicht doen.
Dit is waarom mijn vriendin en ik een email hebben gestuurd op 21 Juni. Om onze zorgen over zijn gezondheid te vertellen.

Ik zeg niet dat Michael stierf door een ziekte.
Ik zeg niet dat Michael vermoord is.
Ik zeg niet dat ik de waarheid vertel.

Ik zeg alleen dat WIJ fans het gevoel hadden dat MJ in gevaar kon zijn.
Ik zeg alleen dat WIJ fans zagen hoeveel Michael was afgevallen.
Ik zeg alleen dat WIJ fans konden zien dat hij onder invloed van drugs was.
Ik zeg alleen dat MICHAEL de fans vertelde dat hij onder grote druk stond en niet kon eten en slapen.

Ik vraag nu alleen waarom zij, MJ’s team, blijven zeggen dat Michael in geweldige conditie was, terwijl iedereen die niet voor hem werkte, kon zien dat dit niet het geval was.

Ik vraag alleen waarom, vandaag (2 dagen nadat deze website online ging), er een PERSBERICHT van Michael’s autopsie uitgelekt is waarin staat dat zijn gewicht 136lbs (zelfs dat is niet veel) was, met de titel “Michael Jackson was gezond” en ineens overal verschijnend.

Het was niet de bedoeling dat het autopsie rapport naar buiten zou worden gebracht voordat het onderzoek volledig afgelopen was. Is er iemand bang aan het worden?

Ik zeg niet dat Michael vermoord is
Ik zeg niet dat Michael ziek was
Ik zeg alleen tegen een aantal mensen:
STOP MET LIEGEN TEGEN ONS
ZIE ONS NIET VOOR DOM AAN

Wij zagen in wat voor staat Michael verkeerde.
Hij vertelde ons dat hij zich NIET goed voelde.
Stop met liegen.
We zijn hem al kwijt geraakt.
Heb het lef om de waarheid te vertellen en zeg:
Ja, misschien had Michael hulp nodig die wij hem niet geboden hebben.
We hadden meer rust in moeten bouwen voor de shows, zodat hij minder nerveus zou zijn.

We zeggen niet dat deze mensen hem vermoord hebben.
Maar door te luisteren naar iemands problemen en angsten hadden ze hem meer op zijn gemak kunnen stellen, hij zou beter gegeten hebben, beter geslapen hebben en had niet hoeven vragen naar Propofol.
Dan was hij hier nog geweest.
Bedankt.

MJ met het jasje van mijn vriendin
The dome Project / Culver Studio
11 Juni 2009

Dit is de email die ik naar MJ fans en Michaels entourage gestuurd heb:


Marika Prochet 21 juni, om 15:21
Dear closest MJ fans,

Dit is een belangrijk bericht. Sommige van jullie zullen het haten, andere zullen erover nadenken.

Zoals jullie misschien weten hadden Moon en ik, een aantal dagen geleden, het geluk dat we uitgenodigd warden op de set bij Michael.

Michael had een witte broek aan, heel strak. En een wit shirt, ook heel strak.

Zoals jullie allemaal weten is Michael sinds de rechtzaak al heel dun. We praten er allemaal over en zeggen: hij is eng dun.
Sommige van ons hebben hem gezegd dat hij moet eten.

Maar wat Moon en ik vorige week hebben gezien heeft ons geschokt. Hij is niet eng dun, hij is een skelet. Ik zag zijn rug en moest overgeven. Ik heb nog nooit zo’n schok als dit gevoeld en ik wist al dat hij dun was. Maar zijn kleding.... het was alsof hij naakt was. Ik schaamde me.

En wat verteldeik de fans toen ik er vnadaan kwam?
“oh mijn god hij is duns!” En wat zei ik daarna?
“oh het was geweldig! Jaaa! Ik heb Michael op de set gezien! Jaaa!”

Ik had dezelfde reactie als tijdens de rechtzaak. Hij is nu meer dan dun. Hij is een skelet. Maar ik kan er niks aan doen, dus laten we het over iets anders hebben. Over hoe geweldig ik het vond om hem te ontmoeten.

Om eerlijk te zijn voel ik me sinds die dag raar. Het lijkt een beetje op een schuldgevoel.

Ik heb het idée dat ik de realiteit gezien heb. Voor een keer had hij geen jas aan, een groot shirt of een baggy broek. Deze keer zag ik echt wat er aan de hand was.
Ik heb het gevoel alsof ik dat al wist, maar niet kon accepteren.

Eerlijk. Ik denk dat ik net als jullie was. We maken ons 5 minuten zorgen, maar daarna kunnen we alleen maar denken: Ik wil Michael zien, ik wil een knuffel, ik wil zeggen ik hou van je. Ik denk aan mijn eigen vreugde.

Ik begon me af te vragen. Michael repeteert elke dag. Hij is omringd door 200 mensen die elke dag met hem werken. Maar wie zijn die mensen?

Dansers die hun droom waarmaken. Kenny Ortega die zijn beste show ooit produceert, technici, Michael’s beveiliging, Michael Bush en Karen Faye.

Geen familie, geen vrienden, niemand.

Karen is de enige die van Michael houdt. Dus heb ik haar ge-emaild. Ik wilde weten of mensen blind waren en niks deden.

Dit is haar antwoord:

Hi Marika,

Ik weet het.
Ik doe alles wat menselijk mogelijk is…. Jou hart en het mijne vinden hetzelfde.
Hou dit alsjeblieft prive, voor zijn belang.
Love,
Karen
Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

Toen ik dit las realiseerde ik me dat ik gelijk had. 

Ze doet iets. Maar wat kan ze doen?

We weten allemaal dat Michael naar niemand luistert. Hij doet wat hij zelf wil.
En als je iets van anorexia weet, dan weet je dat het complet nutteloos is om iemand te vertellen dat hij moet eten.

Karen zegt hem waarschijnlijk dat hij moet eten, maar dat zal hij niet doen.
Er moet iets schokkends gebeuren voordat mensen in zijn situatie tot realisatie komen.  

Dit is mijn vraag aan jullie allemaal:

We houden allemaal heel veel van Michael. We willen allemaal zijn shows zien. We dromen er allemaal over hoe we op de eerste rij staan. Over hoe we meer kaartjes kunnen krijgen.
Over hoe we hem meer zullen ontmoeten dan andere fans. Over hoe we op de foto zullen gaan met hem. Over hem geen pijn te zullen doen.

Hoe zal je al deze dingen doen als hij tijdens het derde concert op het podium flauwvalt en hij een hartstilstand krijgt op weg naar het ziekenhuis.
Hoe zul je je voelen als je met andere fans praat en zegt: We wisten allemaal dat hij te mager was om 50 shows te doen. We wisten dat hij niet at tijdens de rechtzaak en 10 uur per dag oefende voor ons.

Hoe zul jij je voelen als je zegt: Ze zeiden dat hij in geode conditie was maar ze logen. Wij zagen dat hij een skelet was.
Zul je je schuldig voelen? Kan je ‘s nachts nog slapen met de gedachte dat je het wist mar nisk deed?

Sommige van ons zullen zeggen:

“Hij had dokters bij zich”
“Ze zouden hem niet hebben laten dansen als hij niet gezond was”
“Ik wil niks doen, want hij zou erdoor gekwetst zijn”

Laat ik je dit vertellen:

Als hij dokters om zich heen had, dan was hij in gewicht aangekomen.
Niemand heeft Lou Ferrigno bij de repetities of Michael’s huis gezien.
Ik heb de mensen rondom Michael op de set bekeken. Iedereen ontweek Michael, ze keken de andere kant op. Ze waren allemaal druk bezig met andere dingen.
Er was teveel geld in het spel. Je wilt niet ontslagen worden omdat he Michael Jackson vertelde dat hij moest eten.
Jullie weten allemaal dat Michael’s werknemrs nooit het risico zullen nemen dat ze ontslagen worden. Darvoor houden ze niet genoeg van Michael.

En voor diegene die naar Carolwood zijn geweest. Jullie weten dat Michael daar compleet alleen was.

Als je deze email ontvangt dan betekent dat dat je deel uitmaakt van een groep fans die weten dat Michael Jackson niet Peter Pan is. Michael is niet 100% perfect. En vandaag de dag zijn wij de enige overgeblevenen die genoeg van Michael houden om een poging te doen om dit te stoppen.

We hebben allemaal Michael op zijn dieptepunt gezien en we zien hem nog steeds levend.
Denk er even 5 minuten over na dat dit skelet dat Michael is geworden elke avond 2 uur gaat optreden en dat 3 maanden lang.
Kan jij dat?

Modellen overlijden op 18-jarige leeftijd aan hartstilstanden door anorexia. En zij lopen alleen maa rover een catwalk.

Michael is 51 jaar. Hij danst 10 uur per dag. En gaat 2 uur per avond dansen, 3 maanden lang.
Denk jij dat hij dat zal redden?

Nu dat je dit weet, ga je er iets aan doen of ga je met andere fans bekvechten om de beste ontmoeting met hem te krijgen?

Alsjeblieft, laten we de beste oplossing vinden om tot hem door te dringen. Hij moet geschokeerd worden door ons. We moeten een reactie uitlokken.
En helaas zullen we hem misschien moeten kwetsen om dit te bereiken.
Maar als hij daardoor in leven blijft, dan is het dat toch zeker waard?

Marika

Sandy's testimony

Laatst aangepast op vrijdag, 09 oktober 2009 20:14 dinsdag, 06 oktober 2009 16:23

Dear fans and friends, and those who deserve the truth…

I have decided to share some letters that I wrote prior to Michael’s death, and the last letter that I wrote to Michael that was given to him just before rehearsal the night before he passed. I choose to do this in support of the This Is Not It campaign, and because I believe Michael would have wanted us to speak his truth now that he is gone, in the same way he always asked us to do through all this years against the allegations, Mottolla-Sony, etc.

This is of course very sad and difficult and not something I ever expected to share so publicly, but now that Michael has passed I feel it is more important to inform and support the TRUTH against the blatant lies and attempted cover-up by those around Michael in his last months. I also feel the need to defend against those that are saying the “followers” are only speaking out after the fact now that Michael is gone. This is not true and we tried our best as far as we were capable “only” being fans. Everything that we are claiming and speaking is truth, and is based on words from MICHAEL HIMSELF, what we ACTUALLY WITNESSED in the months before he passed, along with what we also witnessed about Michael’s “friends” and “doctors” over the past two decades of “following” Michael.

First, an email that I wrote on June 21st, four days before Michael passed. I sent this email to Karen Faye (Michael’s makeup artist) and Michael Bush (Michael’s tailor) who I knew to be around Michael almost daily in the weeks prior to his death and the only members of his entourage I considered trustworthy and true friends to Michael. I had met Michael, spoken with him, and witnessed his condition over 2 weeks time in Los Angeles at the end of May and beginning of June. I left Los Angeles with an uneasy feeling, particularly about Michael’s obvious weight loss.

Subject Line: Please look after Michael-INTERVENE PLEASE-something is wrong, I saw it.

Karen, Michael...
There is something that has been worrying me for several months now. I think there is something wrong with Michael and his health or his self-image about his weight and I am really worried.

I have been afraid to say anything to anyone because it's probably not really my place to talk about something so personal concerning Michael, and talking about it amongst fans can make you an outcast because it is regarded as criticising Michael. But I want to know if he is alright. I also want to know if he is not alright that someone is intervening and doing something about it. There are always new people around Michael and as has always been obvious they do not always have his best interest at heart because of their own interests, but I expect that you really care about Michael in a way that you would perhaps cross a line that others might not if you saw that he is somehow hurting himself.

It is painfully obvious that Michael is TOO THIN. I know that Michael's weight fluctuates, and he is often mostly too thin anyways, but NOW he is REALLY TOO THIN. I first noticed back in October that his weight was really plummeting. I spent a couple hours with Michael in his Bel Air suite at Halloween, and it really struck me how thin he was even back then. When we hugged I felt there was literally nothing to him. I told him to please take care of himself and stay healthy and that he looked good-I was trying to make a point that he doesn't need to lose more, that he looks good already, to stop now. Naturally this embarassed him and he mostly just smiled and said thank you without knowing what to say. I also wrote him a letter about it, which he read but only replied again saying thank you.

Michael told me back then that he was preparing a tour and so I thought perhaps it is normal for him to slim down in preparation. I expected that he would become very weight-conscious. But now it seems he has gone TOO FAR. I met him inside the dance rehearsal studio a couple weeks ago and I was honestly SHOCKED. I noticed how the bones of his shoulders were LITERALLY protruding, poking through the material of his black fitted top. He was SCARY SKINNY. When we hugged I felt his skeleton. I felt very worried and very sad for him.

He was also looking very down and stressed and his demeanor and voice were very frail. HE ACTUALLY SAID he was stressed and worried how he will be able to do all 50 shows, that he does not eat enough, and he does not have enough breaks between shows. Clearly the situation is too much for him, it is making him SICK...whether it is self-imposed because he is not eating or something else.

DOES NO ONE ELSE AROUND HIM EVERYDAY SEE THIS???

Karen do you see this? Do you say anything to him?

Michael do you see this when you go over wardrobe? Do you say anything to him?

PLEASE INTERVENE AND HELP. I really think he is to the point where something bad and regrettable could happen to him. I don't mean to suggest that you are responsible for him but AS A FRIEND AND ONE OF THE VERY FEW CONSISTENT PEOPLE around him that I think TRULY CARES about him, please risk saying something to him if you have not already.

Michael Amir, Alberto and Faheem have begun to restrict access to Michael and I'm now no longer allowed to even give a letter into his hands without them reading it first. They have many excuses that Michael is tired or in tour mode now or it's for his safety. This is ridiculous after 15 years of seeing Michael, I don't expect to be treated this way as if I would somehow harm him. I may be “just a fan” but I have been there for Michael for a really long time before them and will surely be here after them and Michael needs to hear from his fans when it is clear he is distressed, and those on the inside aren’t always worried for him but probably more concerned for their jobs should they say something deemed inappropriate. THEY MUST SEE that Michael is wasting down to nothing, but I don't trust that they say or do anything. And shutting his fans out during this time is not what he needs. I see how alone Michael is, and heard from him how heavy he feels under the pressure. He has his children, but they are his responsibility to look after not the other way around, and so beyond his children his close friends are very few and far between. Everyone else around him in this time is focused on This Is It. I have seen in the past couple years that no one has really been around for him in Las Vegas, then Bel Air, now Los Angeles, no one who really cares for him as a friend and not just as a business. Except of course the two of you.

If he is suffering from something serious, physically or mentally, regarding his weight or health, please intervene. Please let me know that he is alright. These concerts are not worth jeopardizing his life.

I’m really in tears for him, for the state that I saw him in. If you’ve already said something to him, please give him this letter if you think he needs to hear it again from someone else. I'm sure whatever exactly is going on must be a fragile situation but please don't avoid it altogether. I'm so worried. Please tell me he is okay. Above that, please tell me the TRUTH.

I love him. Please help him if he needs it. I wish I could do something, I feel helpless.

Thank you for reading,

Sandy

Michael had invited us inside his rehearsal studio where he spoke very candidly about his fears and feelings about the tour schedule, AEG, and Randy Phillips. He also said he was suffering back pain, and he was not eating, which was already obvious to us. He was nearly in tears as he spoke, and folded his hands in prayer during a moment of silence. We left this meeting feeling very disturbed and worried for Michael, and continued to witness him over the next couple weeks losing yet more weight and sometimes in a drug-induced state. The group of “followers” decided that we needed to take decisive action and reach Michael directly about our worries. Michael was deteriorating quickly and our shock and fears continued to grow every day, we couldn’t rely on his entourage to care for his well-being, because they were clearly not, nor would they take our concerns seriously. We decided to write letters to Michael himself, each of us wrote a letter individually, but all had the same sentiment about our fears over Michael’s condition, pleading for him to take better care of himself, to love himself, and put himself before the tour. The letters were given directly into Michael’s hands outside his rehearsal studio the night before he passed away. Michael tried to phone Talitha (one of the fans who actually gave the letters and Michael knew very well) several times from the Staples Center, but the call kept dropping and we will never know what he wanted to say. Michael’s personal assistant, Michael Amir, told me in Los Angeles when I went back for Michael’s memorial that Michael asked for the letters upon returning home after rehearsal, and he took them to Michael in his bedroom. Michael would be gone in less than 8 hours.

So sadly, this is my last letter to Michael, written June 22nd and given to Michael night of June 24th. I share this for those who are attempting to blame those of us who actually tried to be heard. You are accusing the wrong people of doing nothing. Your attention should be turned towards AEG, Randy Phillips, Frank Dileo who claimed outright that everything was “under control” and “Michael is not going to die.”

Dearest Michael,

I’m not exactly sure how to begin what I need to say to you, but please understand everything I say comes only from a place of overwhelming love and care for your happiness and health. I love you so very much; much much much more than I could ever hope to adequately express to you. In the past several months I have become very worried that you are not caring for yourself as you deserve to be cared for. I have noticed you becoming increasingly thin, and you are now so thin that I’m really concerned about your well-being.
I can only imagine the paralyzing degree of pressure you must be feeling lately in preparation for you concerts, and I can only assume your drastic weight loss is a symptom of the stress you feel so heavily upon you in these recent months.

Michael, I just pray that you know I will still love and adore and support you even if you were to never set your precious feet upon another stage. You have stood proud against more stress and pressures in your life than is fair for one person to ever endure, and you have always done it with grace, humility, honor. For this I have admired you, with your seemingly superhuman strength and incredible willpower to carry though the deepest and darkest of times. But dearest Michael, I know you are human and must often feel tired, lost or lonely, overwhelmed, tiny in the shadow of enormous obligations. I can only imagine you must be feeling the weight of the world upon your shoulders in these couple remaining weeks until your opening night. I am worried that your intense schedule and perhaps your own worries about pleasing your fans, and stunning the world again with your greatness, is causing you to forgo food and lose weight you can no longer afford to lose.

I hope and pray that your concerts are everything amazingly fantastic that you have dared to dream. I know you have been working incredibly hard, incredibly long hours and want nothing more for you to be happy with the fruits of your labor. However, I pray that you are not laboring so hard that you are neglecting your health and not eating as necessary to nourish your body, mind, and spirit during what is undoubtedly an immensely stressful time.

Michael, when I met you several months ago at Halloween I was taken aback at how thin you were. But you had told me you were beginning to prepare a tour, and so I assumed perhaps your slight frame was the result of preparation. At that time you spoke about the concerts with a sparkle of anticipation in your voice, a spirit of exuberance, a light in your eyes like I had not seen for years. I was happy that you were happy. But now seeing you again in Los Angeles these past several weeks I am concerned your spirit seems broken, and your weight has fallen further. When I met you in the dance studio I was shocked at how thin you have become, when we hugged I felt there was not enough of you. If the concerts have become too much, too many, too stressful, please know you are not alone and you could never ever disappoint us should you feel it impossible to carry through. If the concerts are somehow jeopardizing your health, your health and well-being absolutely must come first. We could not enjoy a concert knowing you were suffering through it. Please do not feel obligated to us to perform beyond your desire, beyond your capability. This is not to say I doubt you for even a second, but I’m only worried that your weight is drastically low and am afraid for your life as you are about to expend an incredible amount of energy over the coming months.

I hope I haven’t offended you in any way with any of these words. I love you so much and I only dare to say what I have out of care and concern. You have seemed somewhat sad, overly stressed, and super skinny recently and I just want you to know that you are loved and I am praying for your health and happiness. I hope that you are actually perfectly alright and my worries are simply paranoia from having seen you on days when perhaps you weren’t feeling your best. Michael Amir, Alberto, and Faheem have begun restricting access to you more severely in recent weeks so it has not been easy to ask how you are doing and give our love and prayers. Please forgive us if we have upset you but we are worried.

I’m so looking forward to seeing you again in London. I love you and ask that you please take care of yourself - for yourself, your children, your fans, your family, and all those the world over who love you deeply and dearly from the very bottom of our hearts. We want to love you for many more years to come.

I Love You Always & Forever,

Sandy

I am sure that he read it and now consider it my final goodbye to Michael.

It is with complete confidence that I say Michael did not trust or like AEG/Randy Phillips, but he felt enslaved financially to their demands because of their role in re-financing his life. We saw Randy Phillips at Michael’s memorial and told him "we know the truth"...he denied that he ever went against Michael's wishes, but Michael told us the truth and naturally we believe Michael. We told Randy "you know that we know the truth"...he was visibly shocked and was without words. I hope he feels an immense amount of regret and guilt, along with anyone/everyone else involved in what I believe pushed Michael to an edge from which he eventually fell.

We have known for many years that Michael was sometimes taking prescription drugs, that he endured phases of addictions over the past decade. The “followers” have witnessed this many times over the years, we have seen and spoken with Michael in altered states, and we have often felt concerned for him. It was not something we ever chose to post on forums or share publicly as it was a private matter for Michael, and we always chose not to jeopardize his privacy. However, those that SUPPLIED, ENABLED, USED, and NEGLECTED him over these years, especially in his last months, should take responsibility for their part in his death. Michael needed help, and instead his “friends” chose to keep him happy and controlled rather than getting him the help he desperately needed. Michael was human like all of us, and like anyone dependent on drugs he needed help. He did not need criminal doctors and friends keeping him medicated so their own greed and profits could be realized.

We also now know many more details that have revealed themselves since Michael’s passing and have given us full confidence in what we know and saw and corroborates our own testimonies. Some have been promised confidential, but it is our hope that the This Is Not It campaign will encourage others to speak the TRUTH they also know.

Edit: The photo attached to this note was taken on May 29, 2009, 3 weeks before Michael passed. It is very evident he is very underweight, and he continued to lose weight even after this picture. It is most evident in his face, jaw and neck. You will also see in the This Is It movie that Michael was almost aways wearing THREE shirts AND a jacket to conceal his small frame in his last weeks.

MJ & Sandy
May 29, 2009

Samantha's testimony

Laatst aangepast op vrijdag, 09 oktober 2009 20:14 dinsdag, 06 oktober 2009 16:24

I don’t know where to begin with my testimony. There is simply too much to say and so many feelings involved, feelings of sadness, regret, anger, confusion and helplessness. However, I need to share my story with the rest of you, for what it’s worth. It won’t bring Michael back and the vultures around him will keep fighting for whatever is left of him and his estate. This campaign we are putting together isn’t to try and stop the unstoppable, but to simply do Michael justice by telling who we can that he wasn’t well and that he DID reach out to us and that we owe him at least the truth by telling you what he told and showed us in th elast few weeks of his life. Whether he expressed his anguish and distress in words or in obvious physical and mental states, I believe (and I am not alone) that he was crying out for help and no-one around him came to his rescue, blinded by greed, fear, self-interest, disregard or even lack of compassion.

I have been a fan for over 20 years but only over the last 8 months of Michael’s life had I become what is called a “follower”. By that meaning I followed Michael on a regular if not daily basis. I got to see where he went and how he was and the people around him. I got to see his physical and mental state and how quickly things deteriorated in the last few weeks/months of his life. This is my recollection of the events preceding his death and how some of us, including myself, knew he was running out of time and was in great danger. We tried to intervene but we were too late.

In November 2008, Michael who was then staying at the Bel-Air hotel, met with a group of us outside and spoke to us for quite a while and he was kind enough to bring us food from his favorite restaurant which he had ordered for himself too that evening. He looked great and was very calm, very clear and lucid. There was obviously nothing “wrong” with him that evening. He spoke to us about many things and hinted at many projects coming up. At that time we had no idea that concerts were in the works. In the next few weeks Michael had many meetings at that hotel, meetings which now we know were about the Tour.

After the 02 concerts were announced in March, Michael began rehearsing at Center Staging between April and May. It is around that we started seeing a pattern in the increased visits to Dr. Klein’s office. The increase in visits and their duration began to alarm me and some others, especially when we began noticing the effects they had on him. He would start leaving the facility looking "groggy". We began realizing the procedures must have involved mind-altering substances.

It reached the point where some of us commented that it was pointless to give him fan letters and gifts after doctor’s visits as he would just send them back out signed, even though they were clearly letters addressed to him and not pictures from autograph hunters.

Something alarmed me more than usual on Saturday, April 25th,2009. It was the first time Michael went to see Dr. Klein on a week-end and it was late. He stayed there from 5pm-9.30pm.

When he came out from Klein’s office Michael smelled very strongly of I would say either rubbing alcohol or Ether and looked groggy.

On May 29th, Michael brought some of us in to Center Staging to talk to us about what was going on (after some fans told him they couldn’t get tickets to the concerts and how the ticket sales didn’t make sense and how things seemed to be a mess and was he aware of it). He told us he wasn’t aware of the problem, that he wasn’t aware that it was a seated venue and that he would do something about it. He told us he had gone to bed thinking it was 10 concerts and woke up finding out it was 50! He said “They did it without my consent. They just did it for obvious reasons”.  He added “They did the schedule wrong too. It was supposed to be day, show off, day, show off, day, show off”. (He meant show, day off, show, day off).

His voice was breaking as he was going to start crying and he put his hands together in a prayer position and stood quietly. We were quiet with him. It was a very intense moment and filled with, in my opinion, sadness and worry.

I left feeling like our worries were validated and so did most of us there.

Unfortunately, the day after Michael made this statement it came out in the press. We don't know, but AEG was quick to refute it and call it a lie.

This also coincides with the timing of everything changing for the small group of us who used to have open contact with Michael.

After AEG found out about Michael’s statement to us everything changed.

Security shut us out and Michael stopped being as “available”.

With restricted access (although we still saw got to see him and somewhat speak to him) the doctor’s visits became more frequent and we noticed more of a physical change in him, especially his weight. He just looked too skinny and something felt wrong overall. Even his security guards’ attitudes and ways changed.

On June 1st Michael started rehearsals at the Forum in Inglewood

A couple of weeks into it, Michael Amir (Michael’s personal assistant and security) said that Michael was very tired, that he hadn't slept the entire week-end and that AEG kept on calling him all the time.

It was around that time that Michael would go to rehearsals later and later and sometimes cancel.

One of those times was on June 12th. Michael went late to rehearsals. On arrival there he didn’t stop for us the way he usually did. Shortly afterward his security came to see where we were, driving by our cars a block away where we usually parked and waited. They made no attempt to tell us what they were doing. This was about 8-9pm. At around midnight one of his security guards called “Biggie”, came out and told us: “Michael says this is “dangerous” (?!) and that “Michael didn’t want to go to rehearsals tonight”, “he’s tired”. And then we were asked to line up one by one and that we would get to have 15 seconds each alone with Michael. It all felt awkward for all of us involved. We didn’t understand what was going on but of course we did line up and had our time individually. It was very impersonal and we were being closely monitored by his security.

In the last few days of Michael’s life I also remember noticing his security guard Alberto Alvarez often looking very agitated and breaking into a nervous sweat. He would tell us, when questioning him on whether Michael was okay or not, that Michael was “focused” and in “tour mode” and not actually answering the question. Yet we could see it was more than that, that Michael had become increasingly altered, groggy and emaciated and that his security was nervous about something. In fact, instead of having 2-3 guards behind the gates at his house, it doubled and tripled and I even counted up to 12 of them on the night he died.

Something was up, something had changed and we knew it was time to act.

In an attempt to do an intervention to save his life, a couple of dozen fans (including myself) wrote letters to Michael the week before his death. It was out intention to give him the letters and to make a statement on behalf of all the fans who felt something was wrong.

We knew it was a matter of time before he died unless an action was taken. No-one else around him seemed to care enough to do it. Once all the letters were collected and a plan was in place, we decided to intervene on June 24th, 2009.

We did in fact manage to get them in his hands that afternoon. That night would be the last time I’d see him, leaving Staples Center at around 1.30 am on June 25th,2009.

This was my letter to him:

“Michael,

I have admired and loved you since the age of 14 when you first saved my life. You have kept saving it throughout the years, as blunt and odd as it may sound to someone who doesn’t even “know” me. You kept me going and gave me hope and strength.

Now it’s my turn, all of our turns, to reach out to YOU and tell you we’re here or you and that we want to help.

Please understand we love you so much we can’t afford to lose you. You mean so much it hurts to see you unhappy the way we have seen you for a while, as hard as you’ve tried to hide it. We feel and see something is wrong.

Michael, don’t ever do anything you DON’T want to do, whether it be concerts or anything-else people want you to do to make money.

Don’t let anyone or anything stress you to the point where you lose sleep, worry or do whatever else that ultimately affects your health. None of it is worth it and you don’t need to prove yourself.

You’ve paid your dues, more than once.

I need you and love you so deeply and truly, we all do.

Samantha”

Finally I want to end this by making something very clear. I am not saying Michael seemed high or groggy all the time. I want that to be understood. We did NOT perceive him as a junkie. We were just concerned (during a certain period of time) that he was too stressed and too pressured to be able to eat and function without medication and that people around him knew he was unwell and chose to close their eyes for profit, and God knows what other reason. But I know what I saw and I know it wasn’t a healthy, happy, fit man ready to go onstage less than 3 weeks later, and they know it too. It’s time for the truth to come out.

Samantha

Talin's testimony

Laatst aangepast op zondag, 11 oktober 2009 19:43 zondag, 11 oktober 2009 16:31

Dear fans,

I live in LA and was consistently around Michael during his stay here in the last 8 months of his life. On days that I was not present, other “followers” were always around, so please take our testimonies seriously since collectively we saw Michael everyday and collectively our concerns were the same.
In my opinion, there are only two theories about Michael’s death:

1) Michael was being controlled, under pressure, being overworked, and his needs were being neglected. In addition to this, he was intentionally murdered and those responsible for this are more than just Dr. Murray.

2) Michael was being controlled, under pressure, being overworked, and his needs were being neglected. He was accidentally murdered by Dr. Murray.

The first part of both theories is FACT and while others may convince themselves that he was “fine”, I cannot lie to myself and ignore what I personally experienced in the last weeks of his life.
It’s very clear that Michael initially decided on these shows for financial reasons, though once the concerts were announced I noticed him excited about the whole record breaking project. In the first couple of months of rehearsals he seemed happy with things, asked us if we were surprised by the press conference and would ask us about songs we wanted to hear. But in the last 3 or 4 weeks things gradually turned downhill, the excitement was not always there, and after a while we finally realized something was wrong.

Here are my FACTS:

On May 29th, the last day of rehearsals at Center Staging, a few of us went inside the studio and talked to Michael. It was actually he who wanted to talk to us. He first apologized about the seating arrangements for the concerts then expressed “the seating and the dates were done without my consent”. He said he was doing these shows for us and wanted to do it the way we wanted him to. He seemed unhappy about the way things were going and at some point his voice cracked like he was going to cry. He said that he’s only one person and only has so much energy…… Later that night we met him at a different location where we took pictures with him. Michael was half sitting inside the car and I was kind of leaning on him. I put my hand on his leg to push myself up and all I felt was bone. No, not like he was just skinny, more like he was nothing but a skeleton. It REALLY alarmed me and that’s when I first thought something was wrong. My personal letters to him from then on voiced concerns, not telling him anything specific but just asking him to think of his health and happiness first. Prior to this I had wondered when he would start putting weight on like he had during previous tours, but since he usually wore layers of oversized clothes, it was hard to tell just how think he was. Still with these facts to worry about, this is when his hair went curly, preparations were moving along and the concert hype was peaking. So I thought ‘well, maybe I’m overreacting. He has a month, maybe things will get sorted out’. And his first rehearsal at the Forum the following week was promising since we heard him singing so I thought it could all be coming together. I was still concerned but not worried that he was in danger.

June 12th is when Michael’s security started to act weird and started keeping us away from him by taking extreme measures. Their actions were absolutely unnecessary considering the fact that at any given time there were no more than 10 or 12 of us there and these were people that he knew and trusted as did his security. In the next couple of weeks so many reasons for this ran through my head. 1) As the guards kept saying, he was in “concert mode” and was probably trying to build up the hysteria. 2) He was groggy and didn’t want us to see and notice. 3) Concert promoters had found out that he was confiding in us and complaining to us and somehow this was being leaked to the press and they instructed the guards to make sure we have no contact with him. 4) Maybe he just didn’t want to be bothered and had started to feel unsafe (possible, but strange given the timing and other factors).
Michael frequently visited Dr. Klein’s office and at times came out of there groggy.

I always wondered why he was going there but never did I feel I had the right to ask. I assumed it was some kind of skin treatment but it bothered me that he was in there for hours (sometimes as long as 5 hours) and it bothered me that he was being put under. Never did I suspect he was going there to sleep and again, I did not feel like it was my place to ask nor would I have gotten any kind of an answer from anyone.

June 16th was the last time I saw him outside Dr. Klein’s office (even though I believe he went there once more before his death).

Among all the fans that were around him that day, we came to the conclusion that he was groggy when he first left the house and he was groggy when he left Dr. Klein’s office. He then went home for a while before going to rehearsal and he was groggy again after rehearsal. That night, 6 of us gathered with different scenarios. This is when we thought something was seriously wrong. We thought that maybe Michael was being drugged against his will to continue with rehearsals and not object. We thought he was being controlled by either AEG or the NOI or both. We started to make accusations about his staff and others involved with the shows and tried to think of what we could do. We knew of someone that was inside the forum but not involved with the concerts. I suggested we ask that person inside how Michael was doing when on stage and one of my friend said “Michael hasn’t been on stage for the past 3 rehearsals” (the past 3 rehearsals being June 11th, 12th, and 16th). The next day I asked Alberto, the head security, how Michael was doing with rehearsals and if he was happy and healthy. Alberto’s response was extremely positive. Of course he was lying since Michael hadn’t been on stage recently so he couldn’t have been doing “great”. Yes, maybe there were days when he was not needed on stage but not this close to opening night and not for 3 consecutive rehearsals.

June 21st was when I saw Marika’s email about what she had seen and how concerned she was about his weight. Without hesitation we teamed up to get our letters to Michael. Many fans now are blaming us for not including everyone. Please, please keep in mind that not all fans see eye to eye and had we opened this up for discussion, many would have attacked us for over exaggerating and seeking attention. Also keep in mind that this all happened in just a couple of days… On the 22nd there was no rehearsal. The 23rd was his first day at Staple Center and we tried to give the letters but unnecessary security measures made it impossible. On the 24th, by careful planning we were successful but clearly too late. I hand wrote my letter so I don’t have a copy of it to share. It was similar to other letters. Without doubting his abilities, I begged him to take care of himself and do what’s best for him, his family and his health and not to worry about us, the world, or his finances. Hours after we last saw him, he was dead. So for those people that doubt us, or question our intentions, or say that we are exaggerating what we experienced, do you think this was all a coincidence? Do you think the fact that we all panicked, worried, and took action, then had our worst expectation become reality was just chance? While the blame may only be put on Dr. Murray, the REAL cause of Michael Jackson’s death may remain a mystery forever. What IS fact is that Michael was not okay in the last weeks of his life but everyone around him chose to ignore that since they thought the show must go on! Yes, Michael was murdered accidentally or intentionally and by propofol. I’m not saying that His weight or previous drug use played a role in his death. What I’m trying to get across is that AEG is making it seem like he was perfectly fine and healthy up until the point when Dr. Murray overmedicated him, but we saw otherwise. So is AEG hiding more, covering up their tracks, by releasing this perfectly edited documentary? Is someone else behind it all? We may never know the truth but now you all know what I noticed, what we all noticed and tried to act on in the last days of his life.

Talin